RSS

Monthly Archives: May 2013

Cocktails

icon-grill-ted-strutzPhoto copyright Ted Strutz

“What flavor’s your despair tonight, Lace?” Hal asked, slipping a newly-dried glass into the overhead rack. “Cosmo? Heineken? Merlot?”

“Shirley Temple.”

Laughter exploded behind the bar. “Shirley Temple?! You yankin’ my chain? Really, what’ll ya have?”

“I told you. Shirley Temple. Lots of ice.“

“You on the wagon, or somethin’? What gives?”

“It’s for the kid.”

“What kid?” Hal peered suspiciously over the bar and warned, “You know I don’t let no kids in here.”

Suddenly his eyes shot to Lacey’s lap. Stunned, he could barely croak, “You shittin’ me?”

“I told you you shouldn’ta drove me home that night.”

Once again I’ve joined the Friday Fictioneers in a humble attempt to tell a whole story in just 100 words. The action and emotion of these stories are always clear in my mind (should be, since I know everything that wasn’t said), but I’d welcome feedback on anything that I’ve missed which makes the story unclear.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Posts I commented on today:
West Seattle Murals (Where’s my backpack?)
Quiet in the Corner (Two Shoes in Texas)  new blog of the day
Besting your Best (The Better Man Project)

 
13 Comments

Posted by on May 10, 2013 in Challenges, Fiction

 

Tags:

Hygiene

101_3000Question 79
For $20,000 would you go for three months without washing, brushing your teeth, or using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone, and that there would be no long-term effect on your career.

Ewww. No! Absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt, no. Not even for ten times that amount. Heck, even the scrungy castaways on Survivor, who are only marooned for 39 days and are playing for $1 million, get to splash around in the ocean and pick their teeth with sticks.

I admit to being a bit of a clean freak. I can’t stand to go 24 hours without a shower (two days of sponge-bathing after knee surgery was torture). My teeth feel fuzzy now, just thinking about not brushing for three months. And the days of going without deodorant without causing offense have long since past.

While I do care what other people think of me, not being able to explain my sudden lack of hygiene would take a back seat to my disgust with myself. Even if I had no career and no other reason to step outside my house in those three months, even if I was guaranteed not to have to be in contact with another living soul, I could not stop bathing, brushing, and deodorizing. I’d be crawling out of my skin in less than a week.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I hear Mr. Bubbles calling me.

Gregory Stock, what on earth were you thinking when you compiled The Book of Questions? Some of these questions are just gross!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Posts I commented on today:
Benefits of Trimming Your Tomato Plants (Joe’s Musings)
Silly Seagull (Northwest Photographer)
Road Trip (Chalk Outlines)  new blog of the day

 

Housecats

100_1194Until a year ago, when some form of evil kitty cancer stole her, I had a lovely cat named Alina. She was strictly an indoor kitty, as her former owner had already had her front paws declawed when I adopted her from the SPCA. But even if she hadn’t been declawed, she still would have been an indoor kitty. I wanted a companion to sit on my feet while I worked in the office, a silent friend to listen without judgement when I talked to myself, a warm furry body to purr by my side on those nights when the hubby was away on business…and the cat would need to be inside to fulfill all those wishes. Tell me, what is the point of having a HOUSECAT if it is going to live outside?

Unless you have a farm and need a cat to hunt the mice that are stealing grain from your barn, I don’t understand the rationale for putting a cat outside. Why have a pet if you never see it? The Humane Society of America says that free-roaming cats live, on average, less than five years, compared to a life-span of around 17 years for indoor cats. Outdoor cats don’t die peacefully or painlessly; they are killed primarily by cars, but also by poisoning, animal attacks, traps, human abuse (you’ve heard that serial killers often start with animals, right?), exposure, and disease. With all those risks, it seems that only an irresponsible or uncaring owner would allow his/her cat(s) to wander around outside.

Plus, outdoor cats can really piss off the neighbors. Despite my general love of cats, I am quickly growing to despise the black and white feline that roams my neighborhood. First of all, it is a snob. It scorns all my gestures of friendship and trots off, snooty nose in the air, whenever I approach, which really hurts my cat-lover feelings. Secondly, it has crapped in every one of my flower beds–there’s nothing quite as revolting as the smell of cat feces emanating from my gardening gloves because I innocently scooped up a pile of dead leaves from under the rose bush. (Despite online reports, lavender is NOT a deterrent, as I have two thick rows of it on either side of the front walkway that are hiding plenty of evidence of its uselessness underneath.) Thirdly, the cat routinely sprays my car tires, marking its territory and making it impossible for me to roll down the windows on the back country roads without gagging. (If I didn’t live in a land of 240V mains electricity, I’d consider stealing a page from my grandfather’s book and hot-wiring the hubcaps as a deterrent.) Finally, and worst of all, the neighborhood cat kills the birds in my garden. Last year, I came back from a family-emergency trip to the States to find a decapitated pigeon on my patio. (I’m guessing the head was on a bedpost somewhere.) Ewww. This afternoon, I looked up from the kitchen sink to find it murdering a sparrow in the back yard. So now I’m officially a pissed-off neighbor.

If you are going to have a cat, keep it in the house–not only for the health and safety of the cat, but for peace and goodwill among the neighbors.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Blogs I commented on today:
Spirit Animals (Underachievers Anonymous)
There Is No Tragedy in Falling (…So Help Me Cats)
A La Ronde, Exmouth Devon (Anglers Rest)  new blog of the day

 

Above

101_2893Imperial Purple

Today’s photo is a response to the Weekly Photo Challenge: From Above on The Daily Post. The picture was taken at the Cumberland Pencil Museum in Keswick, Cumbria (in the Lake District of England).

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Posts I commented on today:
Interests first, readers second (Phelio a Random Post a Day)  new blog of the day
Ruby Red Tuesday (Mama Bear Musings)
Noch Eine Liebster (helenjameson)

 

Tags:

Flying

Showing off
Today we flew. At speeds around 85 mph. For just under a minute. No wings required. Just us on a wire. A mile-long wire, stretched 500 feet above the lake at the bottom of a disused section of what used to be the world’s largest slate quarry.

The hubby has been zip-lining before…the normal sit upright and sail between the treetops zip-lining. Me, never. So why wouldn’t our first experience zip-lining together to be at Europe’s longest and fastest zip wire, ZipWorld Snowdonia in Northern Wales? Why not just throw the girl right in at the deep end? Forget those little baby treetop zip lines…those are for sissies.

I did not puke. I did not cry. I did not wet myself. I did not even balk when the hubby said, “Let’s go first,” on the shorter warm-up wire, Little Zipper. I admit to cheating last week, when I watched a couple videos online of inaugural rides taken by various news reporters covering the grand opening of the attraction a mere five weeks ago. Since this zip line is engineered so the rider lies horizontally beneath the wire, I didn’t see any potential for tummy-dropping free-falls like you’d get on a roller coaster–a fact that went a long way in easing much of my pre-flight fear. However, lying on the Little Zipper platform, looking straight down 72 feet, listening to the instructor radioing to the finish line to be sure all was clear on the wire, hearing her count down 5…4…3…2…1…, then feeling the wire lurch when the brake was released on my cart, I was scared.

I did not scream. I did not cry. I did not close my eyes.

For the entire 20 seconds, I looked down at the slate rushing beneath me. I felt the wind in my face and the sun on my back. I listened to the wheels of the cart singing along the wire above me. I saw the hubby pass me on the left as he flew down the neighboring wire. I watched the catch man on the finish platform growing larger and looking decidedly unconcerned as I rushed at him at 45 mph. Caught like a plane landing on an aircraft carrier, I did not mow him down, and as he unhooked me from the wire, I couldn’t find the words to answer when he asked how I’d liked the ride. Elated and high-fiving the hubby, I waited for the rest of the group to descend the Little Zipper so we could travel up to the quarry’s rim for the Big Zipper.

Even though I had just survived the Little Zipper and now knew what sensations to expect on the zip line, lying on the Big Zipper platform, looking straight down 500 feet, listening to the instructor radioing to the finish line to be sure all was clear on the wire, hearing him count down 5…4…3…2…1…, then feeling the wire lurch when the brake was released on my cart, I was SCARED. 

I did not scream. I did not cry. I did not close my eyes.

For nearly one minute, I looked down, I looked up, I looked sideways. I watched piles of slate left over from centuries of mining operations drop away as I soared out over the aqua-blue lake at the bottom of the quarry. I noticed a wind-whipped tear slide off my cheek and roll around the inside of my goggles. I felt the wind slapping the straps of my safety helmet against my cheeks. I breathed (apparently a lot of people forget to do that). I heard the song of the wire deepen as I flew past the lowest point and began the uphill journey of the last quarter-mile. I smiled when I saw the catch team tracking my approach with a radar gun, timing their signal for when I should apply the brakes (throwing my arms out perpendicular to my body). Caught once more like a plane landing on an aircraft carrier, I still could find no words to answer, “How was your ride?”

I hope my stupid grin said it all.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Posts I commented on today:
Riddled Rara: On Voice (Rarasaur)
Weekly Photo Challenge: From Above (Yarnspinner)  new blog of the day
Reflections on A to Z 2013 (Tropical Territory)

 
3 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2013 in How It Is, Monday Mix, True Life

 

Dance

Today’s post is my contribution to this week’s challenge, Travel Theme: Dance at Where’s my backpack?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Posts I commented on today (well, actually on Friday, as I’m away from my computer cruising across a World Heritage aqueduct in Wales today):
A to Z Reflections (The Beveled Edge)  new blog of the day
Floral Friday Fotos: Maarn Dahlia (Cee’s Photography)
A Deconstructed Ocean (Wiley’s Wisdom)

 

Weed?

102_1644Mystified by blooms in my garden

Shhh, don’t say anything out loud in case we jinx it, but it appears that spring might have finally sprung here in jolly old England! The April showers that started in 2012 and have pretty much continued unceasingly since, have finally cleared. This week has been a string of mostly sunny days, complete with temperatures in the 60s and bright blue skies, setting the stage for the legendary May flowers. This much anticipated meteorological blessing has caused an eruption of early (well that term is relative, since they are a full three weeks later than last year) bloomers in my garden (British English for flower beds), from daffodils (or are they narcissus–or is there even a difference?) to tulips to grape hyacinth. A couple shrubs have also begun to flower, including a sassy forsythia under the front window.

My trouble is, lots of weeds are also blooming. I can recognize the dandelions, whether in full yellow glory or just popping up, and the prickly sprouts of a new crop of thistles. The little daisies that are carpeting the back lawn are cute, but not supposed to be there. But what about the pretty pink flowering specimen in the picture above? It looks too fancy to be a weed, yet its position on the very edge of the flower border leads me to believe it was not planted intentionally by my landlords. Should it stay or should it go? There are many such mysteries in my garden, so I’ve adopted a very open-minded approach to weeding: One man’s weed is another man’s wildflower. If I like the looks of an unknown bloom and its accompanying leaves, it stays. If it looks, well, weedy, then it goes. I’m sure the passing neighbors alternate between, “Why is she digging that up?” and “Why on earth doesn’t she dig that up?” I figure if the landlords had been concerned with preserving their plantings during the lease period of the ignorant Americans, they should have either left me detailed sketches and instructions or a highly qualified gardener.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Posts I commented on today (well, actually yesterday…this is a scheduled post while I’m antiquing in Wales):
A to Z is over. What next? 1, 2, 3…? (A few drops of ink)  new blog of the day
Friday Fiction–Star-Crossed (elmowrites)
Gramp’s Library (Embracing Life from a Writer’s Perch)

 

Tags: