I live in a small village. The only way in or out is via two roads which intersect in a T…travelling along the top cross-bar of the T, the village is exactly 0.65 miles wide. As you enter the village on either end of this cross-bar, a lovely planter made from local stone sits at the base of a sign which welcomes you to the village and simultaneously reminds you to drive carefully, namely by reducing your speed from 60 mph to 30 mph.
Two and a half weeks ago, a friendly blue sign appeared next to each of the speed limit signs, presumably placed by the Thames Valley Police, declaring, “POLICE OPERATION IN PROGRESS.”
Ooohhh. Intrigue. I wonder what kind of police operation? It is not uncommon for these signs to be placed in the vicinity of a speed trap or where an accident investigation is underway, so as I drove through 0.645 miles of the village to reach my neighborhood, I was on high alert. No sign of a patrol car (they are impossible to miss, being that they are painted in a high-vis yellow/neon blue checkerboard pattern, with neon orange stripes on the boot) or officers on foot (also impossible to miss in their high-vis yellow vests and jackets). Oh okay, so maybe it’s a covert operation (we’ll ignore the fact that advertising the operation so blatantly would, in some ways, diminish its covertness). Maybe they are hiding nearby to catch lead/metal thieves or number plate thieves or fuel oil thieves who have been active in the local area of late. If that’s the case, they are really good at this covert operations stuff, because I have not seen hide nor hair of them in the 18 days that the POLICE OPERATION has been IN PROGRESS.
Which leaves me to ponder the small print on the sign: “Please excuse any inconvenience this might cause.” Uhm, I’m sorry, to whom are you apologizing? To me for blocking up the road and snarling traffic through the village with your non-existent patrol cars and foot officers? To the lead-footed drivers who could have potentially been caught in your non-existent speed trap? To the thieves who could have potentially been apprehended in your non-existent covert sting operation? The only inconvenience you’re causing, as far as I can tell, is to the good Samaritans who’ve had to pick up your bloody signs every time they’ve blown over in the squalls of the past week! Either come do something that warrants your signs being posted or come collect them to display in some other village, because obviously they’re just taking up space here. Better act quickly, because my hoarder voice is whispering that one of those would make a very unique souvenir from England!
Posts I commented on today (including three that I should have commented on yesterday but didn’t):
Successful Completion (K’s)
Y- Yogurt (ridgesandripples)
A to Z Reflections from around the bay (that girl from around the bay) new blog of the day
A Little Blogiquette (Life Is Good) new blog of yesterday
Death of an Alarm Clock (Phenomenal Lass)
A Walk on the Beach (Northwest Photographer)