Photo from What Will Matter

Day 23: Things you’ve learned that school won’t teach you

• The smoke alarm will only go off in the middle of the night when your spouse is on a business trip.
• Don’t eat or drink anything for at least 24 hours before wearing Spanx—on the special night, when you’re dressed to the nines, you’ll never get them down in time to make it to the toilet.
• Keep a cell phone charger in your car.
• There are societies that manage to function, and even flourish, without guns. Think about it.
• Bad things happen when your entire body weight is supported only by your thumbs.
• No matter how cloudy or cool it is, if you are going to be outside, wear sunscreen.
• Label all the cords and take a picture of the back of the TV once your media system is hooked up and functioning properly–this will save you hours of frustration if/when you move.
• If a tea towel used as a potholder touches the heating element in the bottom of the oven, it will ignite INSTANTANEOUSLY.
• You can hide all sorts of nutritious things in a fruit smoothie, especially if it’s got bananas in it.
• Change your computer passwords every six months.
• If you drop something heavy or pointy, it will land directly on your foot; anything soft will bounce harmlessly onto the floor.
• Hotel room card keys do not like bracelets with healing magnetic properties.
• The heavier person should sit in the outer seat of high-velocity, circular-motion theme park rides.
• Cover up the display of your digital clock—you’ll sleep much better.
• Never, EVER pass up a chance to tell someone you love him/her. Tomorrow might not come.

Things I’d tell my kids, if I had any, brought to you by Jenni’s blog-every-day challenge at Story of My Life.