24 Mar


“Remember — they’re relying on you!” Churchill’s propaganda ensured no rebellion from patriots evicted by war.

Victory achieved, vague promises broken; we never returned.

Today, betrayal blows in the wind as rain batters our beloved Tyneham’s ruins.

Silly me, thinking the three extra words granted in this weekend’s Trifextra: Week 60 challenge would make life easier. I had no problem incorporating the three assigned words, rain, rebellion, and remember, into my piece, only creating the impact I desired in 36 words. Still not sure I achieved it, but ready to walk away for today. If inspiration strikes in the middle of the night, I’ll be back to post a revision.

For a brief history of England’s lost village of Tyneham, check out the article on ForteanTimes.


Posted by on March 24, 2013 in Fiction, Sunday Best, True Life



10 responses to “Betrayal

  1. barbara

    March 24, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    first, thank you for the link to the article about the village. I thought you did well with this piece. Would be interested to know if you thought better and changed something. 🙂 We are often our own worst critics.

    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM

      The story of this village really touched me…when I visited, it was cold and the wind was driving the rain in sheets across the ruins of the old cottages; there were only two other people there and the whole atmosphere was just so desolate and sad. I changed the last line about three dozen times before posting, and if I change it again, I’ll just repost the whole story in a different color under the original. 🙂

  2. nessa1313

    March 24, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    I think you captured the feel very well.

    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:52 PM

      Thank you…several times during the editing, I almost abandoned it as a 36-word story…it was crying out for more.

  3. kymminbarcelona

    March 24, 2013 at 11:45 PM

    War and it’s ravages. Nicely portrayed.

    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:49 PM

      And these villagers probably never had any inkling they’d have to make the sort of sacrifice they did.

  4. Renee TennisMcKinley (@2old2tap)

    March 25, 2013 at 12:25 AM

    The impact you wish for is there. Well done!

    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:52 PM

      Thanks, I appreciate your vote of confidence!

  5. Draug419

    March 25, 2013 at 12:50 AM

    I think we were all silly to believe three more words would make this easier (: You did an awesome job with the thirty-six!

    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:50 PM

      Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: