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Betrayal

24 Mar

100_0716

“Remember — they’re relying on you!” Churchill’s propaganda ensured no rebellion from patriots evicted by war.

Victory achieved, vague promises broken; we never returned.

Today, betrayal blows in the wind as rain batters our beloved Tyneham’s ruins.

Silly me, thinking the three extra words granted in this weekend’s Trifextra: Week 60 challenge would make life easier. I had no problem incorporating the three assigned words, rain, rebellion, and remember, into my piece, only creating the impact I desired in 36 words. Still not sure I achieved it, but ready to walk away for today. If inspiration strikes in the middle of the night, I’ll be back to post a revision.

For a brief history of England’s lost village of Tyneham, check out the article on ForteanTimes.

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10 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2013 in Fiction, Sunday Best, True Life

 

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10 responses to “Betrayal

  1. barbara

    March 24, 2013 at 4:20 PM

    first, thank you for the link to the article about the village. I thought you did well with this piece. Would be interested to know if you thought better and changed something. 🙂 We are often our own worst critics.

     
    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:46 PM

      The story of this village really touched me…when I visited, it was cold and the wind was driving the rain in sheets across the ruins of the old cottages; there were only two other people there and the whole atmosphere was just so desolate and sad. I changed the last line about three dozen times before posting, and if I change it again, I’ll just repost the whole story in a different color under the original. 🙂

       
  2. nessa1313

    March 24, 2013 at 10:12 PM

    I think you captured the feel very well.

     
    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:52 PM

      Thank you…several times during the editing, I almost abandoned it as a 36-word story…it was crying out for more.

       
  3. kymminbarcelona

    March 24, 2013 at 11:45 PM

    War and it’s ravages. Nicely portrayed.

     
    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:49 PM

      And these villagers probably never had any inkling they’d have to make the sort of sacrifice they did.

       
  4. Renee TennisMcKinley (@2old2tap)

    March 25, 2013 at 12:25 AM

    The impact you wish for is there. Well done!

     
    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:52 PM

      Thanks, I appreciate your vote of confidence!

       
  5. Draug419

    March 25, 2013 at 12:50 AM

    I think we were all silly to believe three more words would make this easier (: You did an awesome job with the thirty-six!

     
    • dreaminofobx

      March 25, 2013 at 3:50 PM

      Thanks, I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!

       

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