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Unknown toll

21 Feb
20140221-161255.jpg

Photo copyright by David Stewart

The wild clanging of the heavy iron bell that normally summons the kids to dinner wakes me, a sound not indigenous to this late hour. Pulse pounding, bare feet slapping worn oak, I grapple with the shackles of a sinuous cotton gown in my mad scramble to the back door. I pull aside the curtain as lightning splits the sky, illuminating a monster that should not exist outside of nightmares. Hail begins to strafe the roof as I whirl to rouse my sleeping family, my frantic cries a whisper against the train-like roar outside. “Get to the cellar! Twister!”
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One hundred words in response to David Stewart‘s photo, selected this week by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, the leader of the pack at Friday Fictioneers. You can check out other submissions by clicking the little blue guy below.

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10 Comments

Posted by on February 21, 2014 in Challenges, Fiction

 

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10 responses to “Unknown toll

  1. silentlyheardonce

    February 21, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    Original and a frightening scenario.

     
  2. Victoria K Gallagher

    February 21, 2014 at 9:04 PM

    That’s a scary scene to picture. I hope they got out in time. This, to me, could be a ‘carry-it-on’ story…. A very frightening tale.

     
  3. patrickprinsloo

    February 22, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    A great build up to the climax. Well done.

     
  4. helenrj

    February 22, 2014 at 8:08 AM

    Well-written…and very scary. I have been in the cellar many a time waiting for the storm to blow over. What is very good about this piece is that you took an ordinary object and turned it into a harbinger. It has great ‘slap’ factor (shock and fear).

     
  5. sustainabilitea

    February 22, 2014 at 4:41 PM

    A nightmare!

    janet

     
  6. patriciaruthsusan

    February 22, 2014 at 11:01 PM

    Good story with the kind of description that paints a word picture leading to a frightening ending.

     
  7. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    February 23, 2014 at 4:05 PM

    Oh a twister twist… nightmarish… I did not expec that end.

     
  8. Nan Falkner

    February 24, 2014 at 4:18 AM

    I live in tornado alley in Kansas (land of Oz). This is a nightmare well written! Nan

     
  9. rochellewisoff

    February 24, 2014 at 6:07 AM

    Dear Michelle,

    As always, well written. I felt the tension coupled with raw panic. Thank you for a good read.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

     
  10. atrm61

    February 24, 2014 at 9:49 AM

    Brilliant piece!Loved it!

     

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