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Eicke’s game

02 Nov

dachau-pistol-range-61.3Photo copyright 1999 by Philip Greenspun 

“It is the first day of November and so, today, someone will die.”

Bound and blindfolded, all hold their breath. Few hold their bowels.

“Anlegen, zielen, Feuer!”

Pistols crack.

Eicke’s words are an empty promise. Again.

Dignity is the only victim in this SS game. Today.

——————————————————————————–

Thirty-three words (not including the bold prompt, which comes from The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater) for Trifextra: Week Ninety-Two. For me, the words brought to mind the horrific mental torture endured by prisoners in Dachau, marched repeatedly to stand before SS firing squads. Sometimes the guns were loaded…sometimes they weren’t.

NaBloPoMo November 2013

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15 Comments

Posted by on November 2, 2013 in Challenges, Fiction

 

Tags: ,

15 responses to “Eicke’s game

  1. Jo-Anne Teal (@jtvancouver)

    November 3, 2013 at 1:23 AM

    Oh dear. Such a desperate and sad scene. Difficult to go there but you’ve written it well.

     
    • dreaminofobx

      November 3, 2013 at 8:13 PM

      It was difficult to write. I know that fiction writers often tackle subjects with which they have no personal experience, but doing so with the Holocaust almost feels disrespectful. This was really going out on a limb for me.

       
  2. C.C.

    November 3, 2013 at 1:59 AM

    Love the contrast between all holding their breath and few holding their bowels. Brilliant use of words.

     
  3. jannatwrites

    November 3, 2013 at 11:05 AM

    This is intense! “…all hold their breath. Few hold their bowels.” really says so much about the scene (and makes me thankful I’m not a witness!)

     
    • dreaminofobx

      November 3, 2013 at 8:08 PM

      I was struggling to find a way to capture some of the horror in so few words. I can’t wrap my brain around how appalling the reality must have been.

       
  4. trifectawriting

    November 3, 2013 at 6:40 PM

    Oh wow. Historical and emotive. Thanks for linking up.

     
    • Scriptor Obscura

      November 3, 2013 at 7:24 PM

      Hey Trifecta, this one should win. Has to be in the top three at least.

       
    • dreaminofobx

      November 3, 2013 at 8:07 PM

      Thanks for reading, and for hosting a challenging challenge each week/weekend.

       
  5. Scriptor Obscura

    November 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM

    This is really good. Best one this week so far, absolutely no question. If we were voting I’d vote for this, you’d have my vote for sure. The Holocaust is really close to me, I write about it a lot myself. My grandparents on both sides of the family survived in various ways. I applaud somebody who writes about it like this. Not many people really care anymore, really take it seriously. Many people deny it, sort of play it down. Antisemitism’s really rising in a lot of places, Greece, Hungary, France, much of Europe, etc. Thanks for writing about it like this, highlighting what happened, how horrible it was. Of course much worse things happened in the camps too…

    Also, a couple of little YouTube clips and stuff…Your piece reminded me of this little fictional animated film, less than six and a half minutes long: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQuCSAlD1f0

    Also very poignant, a little four minute clip from the film “Everything is Illuminated”. Your piece really reminded me of this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owEckUj3GUM

    One last one, this little fictional film, just three minutes long, very, very powerful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCAs_CyopMQ

    Sorry if it comes across as too much, hope you don’t mind I posted these links here, just delete them if you think its too much. Thanks.

     
    • dreaminofobx

      November 3, 2013 at 8:06 PM

      Wow, thank you for the enthusiastic support! This is the first piece I’ve ever written about the Holocaust. I’ve been afraid to “go there” because reading and watching movies/videos about it does not make me an expert, and I don’t ever want anything in my writing to be disrespectful to those who perished or to those who survived. On the other hand, I’ve felt compelled to write something, because it’s such a monumental period in history, one that should never be forgotten, lest it be repeated. My thirty-three words could not begin to scratch the surface of the horrors of the Holocaust and the atrocities inflicted upon the prisoners in the concentration camps.

      I appreciate you taking the time to post the video links. In my opinion, keeping the events of history at the forefront of people’s minds is vital to making sure we don’t repeat our mistakes in the future.

       
  6. Ye Pirate

    November 3, 2013 at 11:34 PM

    Superior stuff! My comment might seem light, but it is clear from the thirty three words how much talent is here!

     
  7. Draug419

    November 4, 2013 at 12:05 AM

    This is quite sinister.

     
  8. atrm61

    November 4, 2013 at 3:11 AM

    You brought one of the horrors of Holocaust to life here and in just 33 words!I salute your writing!

     
  9. KymmInBarcelona

    November 4, 2013 at 7:15 AM

    Brutal scene you’ve brought to life there. Brilliant opening line.

     

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