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Category Archives: On Me

Perjury

101_0026My inaugural attempt at Thoughtful Tuesdays morphed into Deep Thought Thursdays when I laid out my official blogging map last week, but the premise remains the same. I have randomly selected a question from Gregory Stock, PhD’s The Book of Questions, available online.

Question 202
Would you be willing to commit perjury for a close friend? For example, might you testify that he was driving carefully when he hit a pedestrian even though he had been joking around and not paying attention?

Short answer: no. I would not commit perjury for a close friend, or even a family member.

I have lots of friendly acquaintances, but by choice, I have very few close friends simply because I believe true friendships require energy, attention, and maintenance. That makes it sound like friendship is a job, and that’s not at all what I mean. But I don’t think it’s fair to call someone my friend if I am not willing to invest in the relationship to make it strong and lasting. I never really stopped to think about it before, but in my mind, I guess I take my friendships as seriously as my marriage vows. My close friends are like blood relatives to me, and can count on my love, devotion, and loyalty in good times and bad. But I will not sacrifice my values for anyone, and if I’ve chosen my friends as wisely as I think I have, they would never ask me to do so. I like to think that my honesty and integrity are integral qualities of my character that make others amenable to claiming me as a friend in the first place. If I were willing to surrender them so easily, I would not be able to respect myself, much less ask anyone else to respect me. Lying in such a serious situation might save one friend initially, but as it would cost me my self-worth and potentially ruin other friendships and relationships if word of my dishonesty got out, resentment would build and the friendship would die anyway. The price of perjury would be too dear, one I am not willing to pay.

So, fair warning my friends (and family members). If you hit a pedestrian, I will not lie for you. You can, however, count on me to visit you in jail, to make sure your family is okay while you’re incarcerated, and to bring you a nice outfit to wear home on your release day. I expect you’d do exactly the same for me.

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2013 in Deep Thought Thursday, How It Is, On Me

 

Aimless

100_1405Okay, I admit to being more than moderately ADD today, my thoughts drifting as aimlessly as the gliders above the local airfield. More than a dozen times I sat down at the computer to write, as outlined on Thursday, an entry based on my favorite writing prompt from the week. I would start looking through my inbox for the prompts I’d bookmarked, but within minutes my brain would leap to something else and before I knew it I’d be answering emails or have a new search window open in the browser. Found some interesting sights to check out when I’m in Iceland later this month, studied some entries from the current Weekly Photo Challenge (think I’ll tackle that tomorrow), added a couple recipes to my Paprika app, updated my to-read list (one book added, one crossed off)…nothing especially productive, and certainly not a blog entry. So in light of today’s inability to focus on one topic for more than two minutes, a multi-faceted writing prompt is in order. I’ve chosen Five Question Friday, which I found out about while reading Joe’s blog in another ADD episode earlier in the week.

The directions are simple:  1. Copy and paste the week’s questions; 2. Answer the questions; 3. HAVE FUN!

1. What was the most productive thing you have done this week?
Tuesday (technically not a thing, but nothing else compares this week). It was a non-stop 18-hour day, and I’m proud to say I moved smoothly from task to task, ticking each and every box along the way. I worked three out of four of my part-time jobs, went to a closing to refinance our house, did the week’s grocery shopping, went to dinner with my husband and his coworkers, then spent two hours scanning all 150 pages of the closing documents back to the bank. Think I even managed to squeeze in a shower.

2. Enjoying the winter or ready for spring?
Oh, so ready for spring. Just saw the Met Office’s analysis of the past three months’ weather data on tonight’s news, and there’s been 4% less sunshine than in an average winter, and temperatures have been colder than normal in January and February. I missed the stats about precipitation, but since I can’t remember the last day that did not have fog, freezing fog, mist, drizzle, showers, rain, downpours, sleet, iceballs, flurries, snow, or some combination thereof, I’d be willing to bet it’s been above normal. Even though it means three months of allergy hell, I’m ready to see the rape-seed fields glowing in their golden spring glory.

3. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Is your spouse the same as you?
I’m an introvert, with ambivert tendencies. Hubby is the same. We enjoy time with each other and with friends, but don’t relish social situations with complete strangers, and feel recharged if we have a bit of time alone to decompress every once in awhile. I think on the scale of -vertness, my better half is closer to ambivert than I am…I’ll have to get him to take this quiz to see if I’m right (I scored 16 out of 20).

4. Would you rather go without music or television for 1 year?
I’d give up television, without a doubt. I only watch a couple hours in the evening anyway, and there are so many other stimulating ways I could fill that void:  books, newspapers, magazines, puzzles, walks, phone calls, chats by the fire… Music, on the other hand, is an integral part of every day, and alternately reflects or affects my thoughts and moods. Since I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, I’d have no way to fill the emptiness if music were taken from me.

5. Have you ever been truly scared of someone?
Yes, I have. I’ve got a relative with a fearsome temper, and no clearly defined triggers; being around this person is literally like walking across a minefield. Experience has shown that when the rage explodes, damage could be physical or emotional, so I find it safer to just keep my distance. 

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2013 in How It Is, On Me, Sunday Best

 

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Martha

HPIM1619Like I really need another project…

Hey handsome! Because you are away on business this weekend, I was unchaperoned at the local auction today, which meant all my, “Ooh, I could use this old ______ for ______” ideas went unvoiced, which meant there were no exasperated eye-rolls to curb my enthusiasm for crafty DIY projects, which meant I bid on more junk than I normally would have. Good news, though! I only won one lot, a stack of 46 2-foot by 2-foot tin(ish) ceiling tiles. Yes, I can hear you…”What are you going to do with THOSE??”

Well, here’s what the Martha Stewart side of me was thinking while I was waving my bidding number around. I don’t plan on actually sticking them to the ceiling, because they collectively weigh a ton (four trips to load them all in the car), and I don’t fancy them dropping on our sleeping heads in the middle of the night. Instead, I envisioned them as a headboard whenever we finally get rid of the sleigh bed, or possibly as wainscoting in the dining room. But when I got home and started looking on the internet, there’s all sorts of cool things I could do with them…tile them into a backsplash in the kitchen (these may not be the best size/pattern for that), hang them as wall art in the living room, substitute them as the panels in the kitchen cabinets, bend them into funky birdhouses for the garden. Dishfunctional Designs has all sorts of ideas I hadn’t even considered!

And wait, babe, here’s some even better news. I got all 46 of them for the ridiculous price of just £24 (about $36). If worse comes to worst, and my inner Martha never gets this project off the ground, we can just sell them on for a serious profit–they go for upwards of $9.50 EACH online. Trust me, it could have been worse; I could have come home with a pair of tortoiseshell veneered display cabinets, purchased by the original owners for £85,000, but now fire-damaged and “requiring major restoration.” Common sense didn’t totally desert me in your absence; I realize there are some limits to the projects I should tackle! Love you!!

 
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Posted by on March 2, 2013 in How It Is, On Me, True Life

 

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Puffin’

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After a very early start and a full-throttle, pedal to the medal kind of day, I was up till after midnight last night scanning 150 pages worth of dead tree back to our finance company in the States. So I hoped that when I finally crawled into bed and curled up next to the hubby, it would be a deep and dreamless sleep kinda night. I should have known better. I don’t know the last time my brain just shut off and let me sleep peacefully through the night; Alice’s Wonderland’s got nothing on the wackiness between my ears when the lights go out. If the tendency toward crazy, colorful dreams is genetic, I blame my grandfather–my mom says he was always recounting screwball tales conjured in the wee hours by his supposedly sleeping brain.

Last night I dreamt of puffer fish. Dozens of them. I was standing shin-deep in the clear waters of a shallow ocean cove. A few yards out, the sandy sea floor dropped off sharply, but that did not cause any waves to break as they rolled in…the surface just undulated gently. Puffer fish rode the currents from deeper waters into the cove, and when they reached the shelf on the sea floor, they rolled over onto their backs and drifted upside down, barely fluttering their pectoral fins to maintain a course that would bring them within my reach. Whenever one was near enough to touch, I leaned down and stroked its belly, just once from chin to tail, before it righted itself, grinned at me appreciatively, and swam back out to the deep. I repeated this over and over, as the fish ignored the other waders in the cove and headed only for me, like I was some kind of fish whisperer.

Needless to say, I’ve been thinking about puffer fish all day today, so I finally broke down and Googled their meaning on a dream interpretation website. In someone’s expert opinion, “To see a puffer fish in your dream signifies suppressed or unexpressed anger. You are holding something in that is on the verge of erupting at any moment. Alternatively, the dream indicates that others tend to underestimate your abilities or misjudge you.”

If anger is going to erupt at any moment, it’s going to be a surprise to me as much as anyone else. I am not currently aware of being angry at any person or situation, much less suppressing a boiling cauldron of wrath. Sure, I have a peevish moment every now and again, but it takes a lot to make me truly angry, angry enough that I’d summon an army of puffer fish. As to the other interpretation, it wouldn’t surprise me if people underestimate me, especially if they don’t know me well. But again, I’m not aware of anyone misjudging me or my abilities recently, and even if they had, I don’t feel like it would have troubled me enough for my subconscious to rally a school of puffers. Besides, the fish in my dream were all as laid-back as the Hawaiian one in my photo…not a single one of them was “puffed” and ready for battle. It seems that the so-called experts may have gotten this one wrong; I think I’ll just chalk it up to weird family genes. Thanks, Granddad!

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2013 in On Me, True Life

 

1990

OBX1990When The Daily Post‘s prompt asked me to dig around and look at the date on the first coin I came across, then write about what I was doing in that year, I figured I’d get around to it eventually. However, I was cleaning out the backpack I’d used over the weekend and buried deep in the front pocket I found a Japanese five-yen piece. I’d forgotten the coin was in there, a remnant of my climb up Mt. Fuji three years ago–it had come into my possession as change when I purchased my climbing stick at the base station. Later, I learned that five-yen coins are considered lucky because the Japanese pronunciation of the coin’s denomination “go en” is the same as the pronunciation of one of the numerous phrases that mean good luck. Considering the coin had seen me through the arduous climb up Mt. Fuji and the even more harrowing descent, I decided maybe there was some truth to its lucky powers and left it in the backpack for future travels. The thing is, when I pulled it out today, I couldn’t find a date. That’s because the go en is the only Japanese coin that doesn’t use an Arabic date–it is still stamped with the nengo dating system, consisting of the name of the reigning emperor and the year within his reign that the coin was minted. After a Google search and a bit of decoding, I discovered my coin was struck in the Heisei period, in the second year of Emperor Akihito’s reign–1990.

The inaugural year of the 90s was an important one for me. The beginning of the year saw me in the middle of my senior year of high school, flying high after receiving the acceptance letter from my first (and only) college choice. I was editing the high school newspaper, forging through AP classes, perfecting my driving skills, spending hours on the phone (remember how we communicated in the days before the internet?), hanging out with friends…typical teenage pursuits. Things weren’t all sunshine and roses though, as my grandfather in Virginia was fighting a losing battle with lung cancer. He passed away on June 1, my first experience with death coming just days before my graduation. In the midst of my family’s sorrow, we found out that my dad’s job in New Hampshire was at its end, and his company would be relocating us before the fall. Whenever I wasn’t at work that summer, I was sorting out which of my possessions would go with me to college in Virginia and which would go on the moving van to the new house in Texas. All of my college-bound junk was loaded into the family car in early August, along with the vacation gear we’d need for a week-long family reunion in the Outer Banks, NC, in the same spacious house that we’d shared with my grandfather the previous summer. While sixteen of us tried to enjoy our time together, I felt sadness for our family’s loss warring with nervousness about my upcoming boot from the nest, and under it all, a sense of mourning for the impending demise of my childhood.

The first semester of my freshman year passed in a flurry, marked by bonding with roommates (easier than expected for a girl who’d never shared a room before), making new friends, avoiding the freshman fifteen in the buffet lines of the dining hall, truly studying for the first time in my school career, taking sole responsibility for my own laundry, shopping, budget, and curfew, and counting down the days until Christmas break, when I’d be able to fly to my new, as yet unseen, home in Texas. On the ride from the airport, across the dark flat plains outside Fort Worth, I shared with my parents the pride I felt at having successfully navigated the first four months of my independence. In my new bedroom I found a small stuffed panda sporting a sign hand-written in my dad’s block letters, “Welcome home, Michelle. We have missed you!” A flood of love and relief overwhelmed me as I was accepted back into the family fold.

 
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Posted by on February 25, 2013 in How It Is, Memoirs, On Me

 

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Forward

103_0319

I’m really not exaggerating very much when I say it’s been raining here in England since last April. Almost as soon as the Met Office updated its drought declarations to cover the lower three-fourths of the country and instituted hose-pipe bans that affected 20 million people, precipitation began to fall. And fall. And fall. It has not rained all day every day for these last ten months, but breaks of sunshine have been depressingly few and far between. I took this photo in December during one of those blessed breaks. Standing in the shadows and aiming my camera into the sun without benefit of any filters is probably one of the first mistakes they tell you not to make in Photography 101, but the resulting image really moves me, body, mind, and soul.

I want to move forward down this path, out of the darkness and out of the debris scattered by the latest round of floodwaters, to the higher ground I can see just beyond the curve. Whatever is up ahead, the future shrouded in the mist, holds no fear for me, because ahead there is light. The luster of the sodden path beckons hypnotically, propelling me onward in search of its source, until all I want is to feel that light pressing its warmth into my scalp, beating against the flimsy defenses of my closed eyelids as I tip my face to the sky. I want to wrap my entire self in this light, and stuff my pockets with it so I can take it out and revel in its brilliance whenever I feel the darkness closing in. This light is freedom…freedom not just from a string of bad weather, but freedom to get out of the house and out of my head. I’ve been closed in and closed up for too long, though not realizing the enormity of the oppression until it was lifted. Moving forward into the light, I feel weightless and clean and strengthened and renewed. I am alive again, right down to the last cell, and dazzled by the possibilities exposed before me in the light.

Today’s blog is in response to “Forward,” the Weekly Photo Challenge over at The Daily Post.

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2013 in On Me, True Life, Weekly Photo Challenge

 

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Remediation

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If you ever want to find out how much you don’t know about a subject, try to teach it to someone. Four years of teaching English to adult ESL students has highlighted enormous gaps in my knowledge of the finer points of my native tongue.

For example, why do we say “an imposing medieval Belgian city gate” rather than “a Belgian medieval city imposing gate?” Turns out, there are some hard and fast rules governing the order of adjectives when more than one is used to modify a noun. I just know one way sounds right and the other doesn’t. I don’t remember anything about any rules from twelve years of English classes in various public schools, so when my students questioned me about adjective order last week I had to come home from the lesson to ask Google. Thank goodness I am living in the internet age, because a lot the answers I need in order to satisfy my students’ curiosity are not to be found in any of my grammar books (or maybe they are, and I just can’t locate them because I don’t know the correct grammatical jargon to use when searching the index).

Can you find the gerund in the first paragraph? Don’t know what a gerund is? Don’t feel bad—neither did I until two years ago when my Japanese students were struggling with them. A gerund is a verbid (a non-verbal word derived from a verb)—it looks like a verb with an –ing ending, but acts like a noun in the sentence. See it now? It’s teaching. It seems like I probably should have learned about gerunds when I was diagramming sentences in my high school grammar class, but I swear the term didn’t ring a bell. And as to the rules about when to use a gerund or when to use an infinitive as the object in a sentence…ummmmmm. Let me Google that and get back to you.

It’s become abundantly clear that I don’t know very much about English grammar. As a result, I have mailed a request to the Virginia Department of Education for permission to take a linguistics class in the process of renewing my elementary teaching license. While I don’t expect eight year-olds to ask the same probing questions about morphology, syntax, and phonology as my adult students, there were enough English language learners in my previous third grade classes that I think I could find more successful tactics to help them conquer this tricky language if I had a better understanding of its structure myself. For now though, I’m off to ask Google why the “present perfect” is actually used to describe an event in the past.

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2013 in How It Is, On Me